Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
— Erma Bombeck
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
— Erma Bombeck
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
— Erma Bombeck