“ I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name. ”

— Paula Poundstone

“ The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling. ”

— Paula Poundstone

“ My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, ’Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.’ ”

— Paula Poundstone

“ Travelling is the ruin of all happiness! There's no looking at a building here after seeing Italy. ”

— Fanny Burney